I mean, I know lesbians who could easily pass for guys because of the way they look. My friend Jody, for example, has short, spiky hair and a wardrobe made up of loose-fitting t-shirts and baggy jeans. You'd take one look at her and label her a butch, or maybe even mistake her for a guy. But if you got to know her, you'd discover a soft, sweet gal who doesn't play any sports or drink beer out of a bottle. And her voice is so femme! I swear, if Jody worked a phone sex line, the guys she'd be talking to would never, ever know they were on the phone with a woman who looks like a construction worker.

On the other hand, my girlfriend, who shall remain nameless, is the most feminine woman you could meet in terms of appearance and interests¡Xshe'd never leave the house without makeup on, and she is never without the latest Marc Jacobs bag. But when it comes to her personality, well, she's hardly a shrinking violet. I love her, but she can be, uh, aggressive and loud even. You should have seen her recently when she got into it with a mechanic who tried¡Xand failed to get away with¡Xtreating her like a clueless girl when it comes to cars. "I have a butch personality," my girlfriend says. "I'm a ball buster!"

Jody would have never stood up to the guy like that. Meanwhile, my girlfriend would never be caught dead in Jody's Timberlands.

But which one of them is butch by today's definition? Is butch defined by how you look, how you act or a combination of both? Taking it a step further, do we even need to use terms like butch and femme these days?

(source: planet out)